One And Only.

One Word.

Past.  I have what you could call a very ‘colorful’ past.  Some know me for my past.  I don’t think there is a word in the book I haven’t been called.  I don’t think there was a shirt, skirt, pair of jeans, any piece of clothing in my closet that people hadn’t said something about.  There wasn’t one thing I could have said to please them.  To please you.  No matter how hard I would try to make you happy, I was always wrong.  I was even wrong when I was right.  I have one thing to tell you, you didn’t know me.  And I have proof, because how could you know me when I didn’t even know myself?

Present.  I try to live for myself, but I can’t.  I rely on YOU.  Because you have become my everything.  I blame myself.  I blame myself even when YOU are wrong.  When I am left home, alone, and YOU are out with friends.  Left to contemplate why I have been left behind.  Why I am always left behind.  I live for YOU.

Future.  Now this one, this one I love.  Because in this one, YOU can no longer control me.  I haven’t lived this one yet, so you have no way of telling me how I can, or will, live it.  I can only hope that by the time this one comes around, I no longer rely on your comfort.  And I can finally live as one.